Gary Oldman is at the point in his illustrious acting career when he can be extremely picky with the roles he plays. And for his latest, he chose a doozer: R. Kelly. No, not “R. Kelly Brigham”, a WWI general who must decide whether to send his adopted son to the frontlines or back to Manchester in the war drama Brigham Home – the “I Believe I Can Fly” R. Kelly.

Oldman appeared on the usually-only-okay Jimmy Kimmel Live for some hot thespian action, powerfully delivering an inane passage from R.’s new memoir, “Soulacoaster: The Diary of Me.” If you ever wanted to know what R. Kelly would look and sound like if he was a 54-year-old English man – and come on, we’ve all done it – we advise you take a look.

While we’re on the subject of advice, if you go to Six Flags this summer, skip the R. Kelly Soulacoaster. It’s just a log flume with piss.